The church in Thessalonica was confused about key doctrines of the Christian faith. They feared that they had missed the return of Christ and were concerned about their loved ones who had died. Paul wrote a letter to remind them of the truth and to comfort them: "Dear brothers and sisters, now we want to let you know what will happen to those believers who have died so that you don't mourn like those who have no hope. Since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, we also believe that God will raise the believers who have died when he returns" (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 NLT).
This verse, often quoted by believers who have lost a loved one, was initially meant to be a gentle reminder that God is in control, has a plan, and that the grave is not triumphant. In the first days and weeks after a funeral, it can provide comfort and help stave off despair. Over time, however, this verse can feel like a rebuke, especially when well-meaning friends insist, "Don't you know that followers of Jesus don't mourn like those who have no hope?" This can be particularly hurtful for someone who has buried a child and grieves the sudden, violent end of their hopes and dreams without a chance to say goodbye. Waking up every day and remembering the reality of loss can be overwhelming.
Yes, I believe my daughter is with Jesus. Yes, I firmly believe that all tears will be wiped away one day, and I will be reunited with her. I remind myself daily that the grave is not the end. But I am a mom, filled with the emotions God has placed in my heart. God allowed me to embrace and love my daughter's remarkable life and her unique gift of laughing, dancing, worshiping, and playing music. He knows that as long as I live, I will mourn her loss. When others her age reach milestones—get married, have children—I will mourn again because I have lost not only the Texa that was but the Texa that could have been.
For those who bear the burden of grief, the greatest gift is grace, mercy, and kindness—we will do our best. Encouragement must include recognizing our daily struggles and our lifelong commitment to persevere. Ask us, listen to our answers, hold our hands, or wipe our tears. But don't expect us not to cry.
The loss of a child and the grief that comes with it is deep and lasting. This passage from 1 Thessalonians gives us hope and reminds us that the grave is not the end and that we will be reunited with our loved ones in Christ. However, it is important to recognize that this hope does not lessen the pain of loss. The feelings and grief we experience are real and valid and were placed in our hearts by God.
