"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength and blessing of my heart forever." — Psalm 73:26
In a world where comparisons often shape our self-image, it's easy to get caught up in trying to be "better" than someone else. I've seen this firsthand with products like Fitbit trackers, which we use to count our steps and measure our achievements against others. This competitive urge doesn't disappear when we're grieving; it can become more intense when feeling down.
Grief has been a deeply personal journey for me, yet I still find myself comparing my progress to that of others. It's hard to let go of the internal standards by which I measure how well I'm coping. When the weight of grief feels overwhelming, I may question if I've failed or if I'm genuinely holding onto God's promises. This self-doubt can lead to feelings of guilt and depression, making me feel like my struggles are personal failures.
On the days when I find relief or moments of joy, I might pat myself on the back for getting through tough times. But this can be misleading. Focusing too much on my efforts can lead to pride and distract me from the truth that true healing comes from something greater than myself.
Measuring progress in grief is challenging because it's not something we can fully control. Recovery from loss doesn't fit neatly into categories of success and failure. I risk becoming overly reliant on my strength when I try to judge how well I'm doing based on my feelings or by comparing myself to others. This can create a false sense of accomplishment, leading me to believe that my efforts alone are enough to heal while overlooking the essential role of God's grace.
The support of friends and a focus on biblical truth are also crucial for healing. They offer comfort and perspective, helping me navigate the difficult journey of grief. But if I rely solely on my efforts, I miss a crucial part of healing. I have to remember that I can't heal my pain alone. I need a Savior to transform my suffering and bring about true healing.
As Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 15:56-58, "The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm, steadfast, and always excelling in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain." This verse assures me that our faith and efforts are meaningful and part of a greater plan. It encourages me to stay strong and trust that God's work surpasses my own measures of success.
Grieving isn't about "getting better" or hitting personal milestones. It's about finding strength in God, holding onto His promises, and trusting His power to help us heal.