Grief is a delicate and deeply personal experience that can leave one feeling alone, overwhelmed, and misunderstood. I know what it's like to go to church, hoping to find comfort, only to realize that those around you don't fully understand your burden. Some churches do an excellent job of welcoming and supporting those who are grieving, providing a safe haven where we can find solace. Unfortunately, others may inadvertently push us away simply because they don't fully understand how to show the compassion we desperately need during such a difficult time.
Grief touches us all, and Psalm 31 offers a powerful word for those who have experienced loss. This psalm depicts the profound exhaustion, helplessness, guilt, fear, and, most importantly, the loneliness that comes with grief. When you're grieving, it's easy to feel isolated—too exhausted to reach out, too overwhelmed to explain how you're feeling, and too afraid to trust that others genuinely want to be there for you. This sense of isolation can be even more pronounced in a church setting, where people sometimes don't know how to handle our grief.
For those of us who are Christians, grief can raise challenging questions about our faith and God's plan. We may feel guilty, wondering if our grief is a sign that our faith isn't strong enough. Well-meaning people might say things like "Focus on the joy of the Lord" or "You'll get through this; keep going," but these comments, while well-intentioned, can sometimes make us feel more alone and misunderstood.
Many churches focus their services today on joy, victory, and triumph. While these are wonderful aspects of our faith, this focus can sometimes leave little room for the messy, complicated emotions that grief brings. When the atmosphere is filled with celebration, it can be difficult for those who are hurting to feel like there is room for their grief in church. The lack of space for real emotional struggles can isolate us further, leaving us feeling even more alone and sad.
Psalm 31, however, offers a different message—hope and acceptance. It paints a picture of a God who is a safe place, a sanctuary where the grieving, lost, and broken can be accepted and heard. 
The church has a wonderful opportunity and responsibility to do better regarding grief. The church can create a space where all emotions, including grief, are acknowledged and accepted. This means going beyond easy sayings and quick fixes and offering real compassion, a listening ear, and genuine support. It means recognizing that grief is not a sign of weak faith but a natural and necessary response to loss that requires both spiritual and practical help.
The church should be a place where those who grieve can find comfort and support. Our voices should be heard and valued, not drowned out. By embracing the full range of human emotions and responding compassionately to grief, the church can truly demonstrate God's love and grace. As Psalm 31 says, "Blessed be the Lord, who has shown me His wonderful goodness and mercy in a besieged city." May this truth guide the church's mission to support and uplift those who grieve and need comfort.