Jesus said, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." This truth struck me deeply after I buried my child. Losing Texa made me realize that my heart is connected to whatever I pour my life into—there's no escaping that. Grief brings everything into focus, and I've learned that what I treasure most will always be where my heart rests.
Since her passing, two big questions have filled my mind almost every day: What am I willing to die for? And what will I live for? The first question seems clear. Dying for something or someone is a final act, a one-time decision that you can't take back. It's complete and unrepeatable. But the second question, "What will I live for?" is far more challenging. Living for something means choosing it daily. It's not just a one-time decision—it's a choice you must make repeatedly, even on the most challenging days.
In the days following Texa's death, I turned to writing in my journal, and it became a place for my prayers. My heart was shattered, and I begged God to fill it with His love, mercy, and grace. I asked Him to help me heal and to use my pain in some way that would benefit others. At the same time, I prayed for protection from becoming bitter or hard, knowing that it's easy to close off your heart when you're grieving. The only good I could imagine coming from losing my daughter was finding a way to help others through my pain.
Music became a lifeline for me in those difficult months. Years ago, my husband gave me a CD called Revival in Belfast by Robin Mark. After Texa passed, it became the only music I could stand to listen to because it spoke to the deep places in my heart and spirit. One song in particular, "When It's All Been Said and Done," became my anthem. The lyrics are simple, but they ask a question I now face every day:
That song reminds me that, in the end, only what I've done for love will matter. When everything else is stripped away, the things I've done out of love remain. I want my heart to be full of love, and I want my life to reflect something lasting that will endure beyond this lifetime.
Until I reach that completeness, I hold on to three things: "Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love." I choose to live for love, even when it's hard or the road is painful. It's love that keeps me going, and it's love that will last forever.