Why share a glimpse into my grief as a bereaved parent? It's not to inspire pity but to help others look beyond the surface. Grief isn't something that can be fixed. It's an emotional, psychological, and spiritual journey that profoundly impacts families. We, the bereaved, don't want solutions; we want to be understood, to share our sorrow, and to mourn without feeling rushed.
There are days when the weight of it all feels unbearable when a single thought triggers waves of tears. Physically, I know I can keep going. Intellectually, I know I have the strength. But emotionally, it's a different story. The exhaustion, the fear of failure, and the unknowns of what lies ahead for my family often break me.
When people tell me, "Don't be afraid — trust God," I know they mean well. But those words don't always bring the comfort they're meant to. How can you release fear when your worst nightmare has already come true? Instead of feeling uplifted, I often feel like I've failed because I can't just "trust and move on." The pain is a constant reminder that while our hope is eternal, the reality of grief is here and now, and it's relentless.
Yes, I know I'm supposed to cultivate an eternal perspective. I know I should be laying up treasures in heaven. But some days, I'm just too tired—too emotionally drained—to focus on anything other than surviving the moment. Grief is a heavy burden, and though I know that from an eternal perspective, our struggles are brief, they don't feel that way when you're living them.
This reflection might not capture where I am today, but it is part of the journey. It reminds me of the emotional toll grief takes and the hope that, somehow, we'll find a way forward, even when the path ahead seems impossible to see.
